my online manuscript

Little Part 1 Cafe

2011-12-06T14:46:00.001+08:00

with ting @ Little Part 1 Cafe, (4th Dec)

On sugar

2011-12-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

@ The Cathay's Billy Bombers.

darling boy giving me his brightest but strictly no teeth smile.

TrueHearts Thank you Party

2011-12-02T19:48:00.001+08:00

@ changi city point today

Seeing Stars

2011-11-29T19:58:00.001+08:00

hehe! things i do when i'm bored at course.

ComChest TrueHearts TV SHOW

2011-11-28T19:49:00.005+08:00

it was a good experience i had at the recent comchest truehearts tv show! :)

glad that overall things went smoothly..as it's definitely not easy doing an outdoor live telecast filming.

check out the stage! this was taken in the afternoon, when we reported 4 hours before the scheduled 7pm show.

when the sun started to set.. and the show about to begin!

the fans did a great job at hyping up the event! xiao gui's fans were the loudesssttt and greatest in numberss. they started waiting for him since the morning!! all these xiao mei meiss (heh and xiao gui is cute in person too! cant believe he's alrdy 28 this yr)

luckily i'm on course mon and tues. even though it was fun helping at the event, by the time everything is done and settled, it's 11pm.. :/ weekends are burnt and we are all not properly rested for the upcoming work week. hmmmmm...

it's my first year alrdy!

2011-10-01T12:53:00.001+08:00

what 'd you know? i'm officially more than a year into the workforce alrd.

Do i say, "Welcome to the rest of my life?"

my cute buddy

2011-07-21T10:53:00.002+08:00

everyone, pls meet my cute buddy cum neighbour at work! we were taking a short break with some happy food! do you rmb these colourful disk shaped things we used to eat when we were young. we re-discovered them at ghim moh mkt!

how to manage idiots with low EQ?

2011-06-14T22:43:00.002+08:00

ugh i think i have more than enough of egoistical morons who NEED to step onto others in order to feel secure. my patience level is tested again and again by such idiots who take pleasure in demeaning much more capable pple than them.

yes i think i am capable. CANNOT IS IT

nostalgicating

2011-06-12T21:37:00.006+08:00

pictures below are taken with my new camera! -Canon Powershot S95! :D these shots are all taken using the nostalgic mode. they supposedly give an old world charm to the pictures :)

at the waterfront pathway near my house where i took an evening stroll after dinner. Gonna be snapping more and uploading this space w more pictures soon!

it has become therapeutic

2011-05-22T22:57:00.001+08:00

to surf through job portals and surveying where my next possible job could be.

it's strangely therapeutic.

when you stood so tall

2011-04-05T20:57:00.007+08:00

opening address by my director before divisional meeting

and then very soon, it was games-time! idea was proudly thought of by yours truly.

everyone had a lot of fun!

why are there so many scissors?

my dept had a ribbon - cutting ceremony to welcome my colleagues and my hod who were sitting on another floor previously to join the rest on the same floor. finally reunited!

give a hand!

2011-03-24T12:23:00.000+08:00

half happy

2011-03-22T21:37:00.002+08:00

will eating more really makes me happier? i rmb vividly there was this time in JC when I was stressed out over sch work. If i rmb correctly, i had fallen short of my expectations for this particular history test. and my jc friend shared w me her "coping mechanism" - which was to EAT. and to make sure that i eat A LOT.

i think it did worked for a while. or to be exact for that day. hmm i guess it's hard to keep up. since i'm not a big eater by nature and when i have to constantly remind myself to not skip meals. sometimes i am just lazy to chew. just the thought of the act - eating makes me tired.

my report card

2011-03-21T22:59:00.003+08:00

it's been quite a while since I last looked forward to receiving results slip / report card. however, this time round, I anticipated the grades and comments from my hod and dd. i had put in the effort and gone the extra mile at work and i'm glad to receive the grade i got for my confirmation appraisal :D

looking at the past 6 mths (has it really only been 6 mths?!) it's an emotional rollercoaster in the very beginning mths. i rmb the agony and frustration at having to fit into the office env, team dynamics and then having to handle a big proj within 2 - 3 mths into work. but i love my proj - it's now my baby :) i rmb that it must be every other day that i dreamt abt work for the first 3 mths. a lot of it were nightmares actually. and come to think of it, one..almost came true :/ so maybe i did indeed have a low threshold for taking stress, because so far of the times i've counted, i've cried 3 times over work, work - related matters. (i think it's going to be 3 and counting..)

oh wells, it's just my "coping" mechanism. so don't judge me!

fast forward to today, i'm a senior at work alrd! heh thanks to this newcomer who came in a mth ago. i'm much more zen about things because i've learnt to say no to bosses when the tasks get too complicated. for whatever politics and power struggles, i've more attuned to them and i'm determined to stay gold for as long as possible. but in any case, if all else fails, act bimbo and just smile ;) (hmm, this i actually learnt from the last person i wld actually ever want to learn from)

Give a Hand Roadshow 2011

2011-03-13T11:13:00.003+08:00

weekend roadshow (ends today!) at vivo city. for a $2 donation to Community Chest, you get a clapper, a chance to place your palmprint on the biggest canvas ever, a try at the various games stalls

we're trying to collect as many palmprints as possible over these 2 days to set a world record!

in the morning when we just started..

the canvas was all filled up after just 3 hrs!

so i sat around to watch random performances from some of our beneficiary groups, budding singers from popFM music school and listening to the jokes from Yes 933 DJs.

Come join us again at the centre stage of Vivo city! More entertainment lined up from Kym Ng and Patricia Mok :D

i need a tooth fairy

2011-02-27T15:45:00.002+08:00

so that i can miraculously have my upper right wisdom tooth removed and then the growing lower right one all magically disappear without any pain / cost.

i gotta put my fave food, pizza at the side for now. It takes more than an effort to chew.

a year of living better?

2011-02-03T23:25:00.003+08:00

why the question mark at the back, you might ask.

this is because i am lost. it's a little hard to move forward without fear or confusion. Do i want to be the reckless kid who runs ahead without caring that much of the consequences or should i thread carefully and mark each step? (but never try, never know right?)

this year, this cny, this birthday which so happen (yet agn) to coincide in the same period gives me no excitement. the routine comes, the routine goes. it's another passing day, when the sun rises and then sets. so they say that a life without passion is meaningless. i know that. we need to feel for something, someone, some idea, some dream -- even if it is silly, impractical, seemingly unachievable. we need to believe in something with a certain amount of devotion. but sad to say, i looked deep inside and i came up with nothing.

Stockbrokers with a Heart Campaign Launch

2011-01-31T19:41:00.010+08:00

the 2 months long preparation finally came to an end with the official launch of the Stockbrokers with a Heart campaign last fri.. i finally ended my anxiety attack that evening too ;)

you cant imagine the amt of work to make the 1 hr programme run smoothly.. :/ first there gotta be a lot of leg work done to garner support from the various firms to get their support with the campaign concept. and then it also takes a lot of coordination to finalise a official/auspicious date.. since many of our invited guests are higher management lvl who's always busy

let's not touch too much on the publicity matters ie the backdrop, flash animation and press advert. eeikes i realise i dont like marcomms work! i cant stand having to rmb each and every logo requirements and then wait (im)patiently for the different corporates to give us their input on their logo placement. UGH! but i must say that when the advert finally came out in the straits times, i knew that my hard work has/is going to pay off..!!

and going on to the actual event day..

inside UOB Kay Hian Auditorium.. we took a while to get the seat labels done, lightings and sound system all set.

tokens of appreciation for the VIPs

door gifts for all guests attendees

and the guests started streaming in at 530pm..

finally it's show time! and yes, i was the emcee for that evening and boy! was it an experience because even though i wrote the emcee script..but it went through layer and layers of editing that by right i shd have familarised it before the event..but i simply had no time nor the energy! but i'm glad i did fine and before i knew it.. i had announced the end of the event! :D

last scene of the flash animation a.k.a launch ceremony

guests ushered to enjoy the reception :) i chose the menu..hehe so of course i picked whatever i liked.. but i have to say sadly i didnt eat much of it cuz i was still running ard after that. and for some reason, no appetite as of then. :/

all smiles for the grp pic at the end of the day :)

thanks for all the congratulatory well wishes from friends and colleagues after the event! i rmb every single one of them and the event really couldn't have been a success if not for their encouragement, advice and labour. my neighbours at work especially when they always pop by or shout over their cubicle to make sure that i am okay and pass me small treats every now and then to keep me going. yay to great neighbours!

i'm ready for cny now! ;)

i love my job part 2

2011-01-18T22:54:00.002+08:00

i cant believe i stayed till 930pm today. :| is it only tuesday?

i'm glad that my office is not spooky even at night..

if time could tick a second slower everyday

2011-01-16T21:02:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wish that i can work from home..or at least have my workplace to be a stone's throw away so that i dont waste 2 hrs ++ on transport everyday. this 2 hrs can be used much more productively at clearing my work so that i dont end up in front of my laptop on weekends to write emcee scripts and draft programme outlines for the VIPs.

ive just come back from my vietnam trip, but it felt like the holiday was eons ago, when actually it was just slightly more than a week ago, i was battling with scooters to cross the roads. oh wells. it was a bad idea to immediately jump back to work the very next day after i landed. but ive no choice! i need to get back to work before the avalanche of things piles higher.

my life is going to be a mad rush for this coming 2 weeks while i prepare for my campaign launch. but..i've to say..i'm amped for my first ever campaign launch! keeping my fingers crossed on this! the dark eye circles and mood swings will be all worth it!

what am i doing when..

2010-12-15T22:11:00.002+08:00

i actually typed my office log-in password into my home laptop password?!

countdown to vietnam: 2 more weeks!

i could be roped

2010-12-12T21:53:00.002+08:00

today while i was helping out at my company's roadshow, a colleague from another team "casually" asked me about my work so far. what i like or enjoy about my work etc. but this also entails finding out about my relationship with my team, esp how i feel about the working style of my hod. well..well as they say, the pen is more powerful than the sword. and in this context, can i translate it to words pierce deeper than the blade?

but of course i mentioned good remarks about my hod since i really dont have much of a problem with him. at quite a few occasions, i'm actually secretly glad that he's my hod.

but the colleague made it clear that i can consider switching over to her team if i ever needed a change. well, i was flattered of course. and then just at the back of my mind, a random thought flashed across: that idiot better dont piss me off again.

HwH Session that I organised

2010-12-10T22:59:00.002+08:00

an event that i shed tears, got nightmares and went without food for the whole day until it ended. nobody knows. except the closest. how to stop myself from stressing up too much?

i hope this will be the first and last time

2010-12-03T22:48:00.001+08:00

that i'm going to cry over somebody stupid at work

vitamin water❤

2010-11-29T20:32:00.002+08:00

i'm so glad they finally brought it in! finally! :)

but i really don't see the point of exclusivity that only certain supermarkets get to sell the vitamin water. come on, it's at all convenience stores in the states.

tired feet

2010-11-27T10:15:00.002+08:00

every mon when the new week starts, i tell myself that i just have to cheong hard for 5 more days before i get my rested weekend back. but this week or rather since last week was so busy that i think i have to write to the govt to ask for 4 day week instead.

you know since i'm a big desperate housewives fan, i almost never ever watch an episode late. every week when it's first aired in the states on mon, i'll be eager to watch it on either tues/weds night latest. BUT THIS WEEK, I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT..until today.

i've to bring some work home because i'm always going in and out of office to make presentations. for the past 2 weeks, i've been going out every single day for presentations. and it was only yest when i was talking to a volunteer that he pointed out that i make about 7-10 presentations each week. !! i'm becoming a presentation machine! i hadnt even realised it myself. suddenly felt that i've come a long way? when i was in school, i would never have imagined that making freq presentations would be part of my job next time, and look where i am now..

orchard hotel xmas celebration

2010-11-25T20:40:00.003+08:00

was at orchard hotel earlier today when they had kindly hosted luncheon to the kids from AWWA school as part of their thanksgiving festivities. D

here's mr rupert. the GM of orchard hotel

handing ot xmas goodies

the kids took turns to paste candies(lollipop, gingerbread) onto the goodie house.

all the candies on the house are REAL ones! hehe one kid started to eat the lollipop first instead of pasting it on the house.

the kids were v happy. so were the rest of us. :))) there was this little boy..who kept calling mr rupert "uncle" haha it's so singaporean, i know. the GM was amused..since he's a German. i told him that i think he shd dress up as santa next yr. ;)

The DnD Experience

2010-11-24T22:14:00.003+08:00

it was a pretty last min decision to go for my co's dnd. primarily because the venue's so far away-jurong bird park! but in any case, still decided to go ahead and make this my first company dnd experience..as well as 2nd time ever at the bird park!

swee ching helping me with the makeup.

we were transformed into catwomen when night falls.

other super-enthu colleagues!

well i guess overall it was a pretty good experience. my table was one of the 4 tables to win 'best dressed table" ;) not bad considered the outfit and props were all pretty impromptu.

and i really loved the performance by jackandrai. anyone else heard of them before? they were amazing and kept us all very entertained through the night with their perfect melodies. :D

here's the link to check them out too :http://www.youtube.com/jackandraiTV

what have i left behind?

2010-11-21T23:33:00.002+08:00

while i was drafting something for work just now, i got distracted and started browsing through the pictures taken in the states. and I REALLY MISS THOSE TIMES. i haven't smiled the brightest ever since. :(

another reason why i was browsing through old pictures was because i was trying to track the size of my left arm. checking for signs of abnormality. okay this sounds sinister. but the story goes because around 2 weeks ago, i had a fall in my bathroom. it's a major ouch really! and then besides the blue-blacks on my butt, knee and left calf, i scrapped my left arm too. AT THE EXACT SPOT ON MY SURGERY SCAR. just my luck! :( and then that got me noticing that there seems to be an ominous lump(agn?) in my left arm. can i say it was a bad deja vu feeling all over agn?!

but not to worry friends, it might have been due to the fall/bump, and the lump seems to have gone away. i'm not really sure. but i dont want to pay a visit to the sgh agn. it's bad memories. it's bad enough that i've to go there every other month to make presentations already. not about to increase the freq of my visits there.

*will update this space with pics soon!

my brother's enlisting!

2010-11-07T19:36:00.002+08:00

my brother's at the last stage of packing. anyway, this picture goes again to show how neat my brother is, whereas I'm completely NOT

Five regrets of the dying

2010-11-07T14:56:00.003+08:00

Five Regrets of the Dying By Bronnie Ware Platinum Quality Author

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friendsuntil their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Friday night/Deepavali at Watami

2010-11-07T14:30:00.002+08:00

we had a good feast on this public holiday. we were very stuffed even though this should have been just a set for 2!

even though it was a 4 day week, i felt like i had worked long and hard for 5 whole days. the work is great but if only i don't let that _______ get to me with her nagging. i gotta learn to be more meticulous so that she doesnt have a chance to lapse into her lecture EVER AGAIN. heh it's an ambitious thought isn't it. but anyhow, i cant wait for next week to be over before she goes on her 2 weeks annual leave. even though i'll possibly be up to my neck with work because i gotta cover for 2, and then possibly get a shelling from my gancheong spider hod, I AM STILL THRILLED! simply because she's gonna be away! HAHAHAHA

team dinner

2010-10-31T14:27:00.002+08:00

and so we had a farewell dinner cum welcome dinner sometime ago at 313 somerset.

but the dinner was .. boring. and this goes the same to the lunch the team had together last friday. simply because all the rest like to talk abt is work..and more work. and then i feel that the rosy picture that they had first painted get a little more tainted each time.

but don't get me wrong, I'm beginning to love my job with every passing day. i feel dedicated and committed to the cause that i'm doing now and i hope this feeling of novelty never wears off ;)

but there's this tiny voice at the back of my head which constantly reminds me that," job is neutral, it's the people which is the variable" i can't agree more. i've learnt at my stint at smg to not be overly trusting and actually in all honesty it sucks to have to keep reminding myself that. i'm not going to become one of those boot-lickers. really. i don't even laugh at my boss' jokes.

if nobody speaks of remarkable things

2010-10-20T21:38:00.002+08:00

coming 2 more days and it'll be 1 month into my new job. :)

and seriously, i am beginning to ♥ this job more and more with every passing day

i dont want to sit on the bleachers

2010-10-11T22:35:00.002+08:00

i got wildly happy when he uttered, "this is very good" when i presented the proposal. i probably have loads of refinement to do but at least the direction is set! i'm going to try even harder next time!

fortune cookie conversations

2010-10-10T21:31:00.001+08:00

not everything that is real will necessarily last long

not everything that lasts long is necessarily real.

joyful at mindset shifts

2010-10-05T21:40:00.002+08:00

i guess i must learn to balance work and leisure. if not the work keeps getting into my leisure and then i dont get any rest at all. reminder to myself: live in the moment! when i'm at it, do it well and learn to laugh at myself.

In this brand new colony

2010-09-27T22:56:00.002+08:00

whatcha know, 2 more days and it's one week into my new job. suffice to say there's indeed some adjustments to be made..both physically and mentally since it's my first ever office job and then at a statutory body somemore.

as much as i like the privacy that my office cubicle provides, i cant help but think that these cubicles are literally like walls erected to create a certain distance between colleagues. well esp for newcomers like me. even though the ladies in my office shout across the office all the time, these voices stopped short and cannot penetrate into my cubicle. this is a stark contrast to all the jobs that i've previously done when i was mostly up and about, and we interacted with our co-workers 24/7 and all the time during our job. office job indeed has its pros and cons.

actually i had come to this job with a certain perception that i'll be directly or indirectly embroiled in some office politics. come to think of it, maybe not..because nothing can beat the previous company that i was with in jul.. :| but i have to say that to my surprise, pple in my office so far have been showing me a very warm welcome from the very first day i stepped into the dept. i do not just mean the smiles or the waves. but what really took me aback was the very honest and invaluable advice that seniors gave fresh grads like me. it's good to be pre-warned ;)

okay and not to mention that i saw my cute soci tutor working in the same building too! heh!

get off the inertia

2010-09-15T23:56:00.002+08:00

this is in response to kanyu's msg! yes this space needs a proper update of my life right now!

sigh i've been procrastinating to blog about this piece of news since last thursday simply because i'm lazy..and i've been playing a lot with my iphone( yes iphone 4!) which i also got on the same day. so this piece of good news was mostly shared by msging friends on the new touch screen keypad. it's really pretty cool but it takes a while of getting used to from the keypad method i've been so used to for the past.. 9 years? and then i get myself into dangerous situations ie when crossing the road because i have to fully concentrate on texting. anyway i'l save my iphone stories for another post!

the piece of good news is : i got a job! maybe you can tell i wasnt as excited as when i first got the job at SMG. haha you see the novelty of getting your first ever perm job has worn off. because you know what really comes with having full time job, a perm position. so what's left is.. well of course still a good level of excitement that yay! i passed! you got a sense of satisfaction that you got in over somebody else and that somebody actually has good faith that you will add value to their organisation. :D

so where's the place i'll be working at? it's the national council of social service and their office is down at buona vista. it's like travelling back to school, except that now i'll be walking to my workplace instead of taking bus 95. kuan wei said that now i have to really go back for netball sessions more regularly since i'm like a ..stone's throw away as compared to those working.. heh we'll see.. i'll be doing partnership marketing for the community chest program, and that mainly includes garnering sponsorships from the corporate workers under the SHARE program. yes i'm excited! rmb my earlier post in april about finding something to do that could be more meaningful than school..?? well i guess this is it!

This reminds me of Ajumma Mina

2010-09-15T17:49:00.002+08:00

i really adore this picture. it reminds me of the time when all 3 of us were at krist's house and then in between watching youtube and eating kimchi ramen, mina showed us how to fold the towel into that( above.. kimchi style for koreans when they visit the bathhouses) sadly i forgot how alrd.

and anyway look how the colour of the towel matches that of the cat's eyes..and my toe nails too! HA

this's a cute one!

2010-09-12T18:58:00.001+08:00

Nandos Chicken Land

2010-09-12T18:15:00.005+08:00

i think we made the right decision to skip the 1 hour bounded jap buffet to try Nando's Chicken! go check out their v cute website ;) heh recently i've been eating at some new places which blow my mind off with their perfect cooking. they are good! delicious! yummy! and they leave such lingering taste so strongly etched in my mouth/mind that i wish i can go back right this moment!

my dad will be amused

2010-08-27T11:01:00.002+08:00

kueh tu tu erasers

The Kite-Flying Festival is Coming

2010-08-27T10:55:00.001+08:00

Can I go?

2010-08-26T11:06:00.002+08:00

BIG BANG and SNSD are coming to town for a KPOP concert this 23rd Oct! it's really quite a superb combi already for this year's concert. the 2 hottest groups are coming..2008's hottest was only the WONDERGIRLS. But this also means that tickets will be selling like hotcakes!

not sure if it's confirmed yet, but the last i heard from miss lee, tickets price range is still on the reasonable side, so I dont mind paying..hopefully not more than a $100-$150 for this. I wont go beyond that I'll be watching (BIG BANG =5 + 9 SNSD= 14 members) a lot of singers on stage.

the big bucks will only be spent if kangta or shinhwa's coming.

Berlin'36

2010-08-25T19:53:00.002+08:00

from this film, i realised that i'm too part of the commercialised movie-goers because i had hoped for the producers to dramatize and sensationalise the plot a bit more. oh wells. the irony of it all. it's based on a true story.

it's about how the Nazis prohibited jewish high-jumper, Gretel Bergmann( also known as Margaret Bergmann-Lambert) from taking part in the Germany hosted Olympics in 1936 due to their discriminatory laws. But the tricky part comes in when the Americans placed political pressure on the Nazis that Jews cannot be excluded from the event, and yet the Nazis did not want to relent because there's a v high chance that Bergmann would win the Gold medal and this would be humiliating to Nazi's Aryan Race theory.

Guess what's the Nazi's plan? besides the threatening and outright displays of racism, this has gotta top it off: send a man disguise as a woman to compete in the high jump event. this was where Marie Ketterler( this's the screen name, the real name is Dora Ratjen) came in. i guess i shant divulge anymore from here. but anyway, Ratjen was found out because several yrs later a passer-by had reported him/her to the police because the passer-by was shocked to see a man dressed in lady's clothes. so yeah it was an offence to cross-dressed back then.(pls watch the film or read up on the synopsis online)

i did an extensive google and was surprised to see that Bergmann attended the New York premiere probably in conjunction with the New York Jewish Film Festival. i wld have loved to be there! i could still rmb that time when mingna and i visited the jewish museum at 5th avenue and we gladly crashed one of the children edu tours around the museum. too bad i forget the tour guide's name. he's the one with the kind eyes and got a son who married a korean girl. haha i forgot pretty much the rest.

anyway, go watch it! in conjunction with YOG or whatever. though YOG's closing tmw, but no biggie!

Universals Fun

2010-08-23T19:03:00.002+08:00

so last monday, seeming, nabing and i went down to universals singapore for the day. thanks to netball junior, xj, we managed to get discounted tickets at $50 each! *secretly laugh at my brother who also went on the same day with his group of friends but paid $66 each.

anyway i had v terrible eyebags and was really freakking tired in the afternoon because i only slept 2 hours the night before. blame it on the green tea! :((

AND AND! my camera was lost...but then luckily found again the next day because thankfully the restaurant had kept it. i had wanted to upload the pictures on the very day itself, but because when i reached home, i was almost ready to concuss on my bed hence leaving the uploading to the next morning. AND THEN I REALISED THAT MY CAMERA WAS GONE!

made several frantic calls to rws and universals lost n found. had a strong hunch that it might be at the vivo restaurant but because it was still hours before of their opening so i could only wait anxiously for time to pass. LUCKILY MY CAMERA WAS REALLY WITH THEM! *big sigh of relief!

my trustee camera to date is 4 and a half years old!

shifting sands of time and dreams

2010-08-21T18:55:00.002+08:00

i woke up from a weird dream. why has the idea that i am officially out of school for at least a long long time hasnt sunk in yet? you cannot believe that in my dream, i dreamt that i had tutorial balloting woes. i dreamt that i woke up during mid day, took a glance at my new timetable of the semester and realised that i had missed all my lectures. and then it suddenly hit me that i had missed the deadline for tutorial balloting and then i had done absolutely zero planning for whatever slots to take. at that moment, i panicked and exclaimed, " What's happening? I dont want any leftovers!"

and then i woke up next, and wondered really why i still have BAD DREAMS about school. i hadnt realised i had that much disdain and fear of school. it reminds me of a time, 4 years ago, 3 months after the end of A levels, but i still had a nightmare that i had forgotten to study for my maths paper. it's funny how our minds work, isnt it?

why i love reading

2010-08-19T22:56:00.001+08:00

there are certain emotions in your body that not even your best friend can sympathize with, but you will find the right film or the right book, and it will understand you.

annon

Chinatown tour

2010-08-18T21:39:00.002+08:00

last friday, i joined the weekly tour organised by stb for tourists who are interested in finding out a bit more about this historical district other than reading off snippets of information from websites or brochures. note that i meant this tour is more for the tourists so locals who care to be slightly more adventurous and not stick to the usual food street and smith street, we can definitely discover more gems along the way ;)

that aside, i did learn some new stuff too; like how brothels distinguish themselves by having red lettered signs. doesn't this picture reminds you more of a haunted house than a brothel? and then we found out that brothels operating in chinatown operate mainly from 12noon to 10pm pretty early closing hrs, isnt it?) due to the clientele they serve. you guys know what i'm talking abt

( as you can see, many many angmohs on this tour) we ended the tour with free tasting of ba gua.

which actually looks like gigantic pizza before cutting

how they are being barbecued. it was hot

In a thoughtful regard

2010-08-15T11:44:00.002+08:00

i'm glad that i found people who appreciates the effort that i have put in to maintain the friendship. i'm relieved to know that they really listen out of genuine concern and not obligation. they dont mellow down my problems to dismiss them as overexaggerated and i'm overreacting. i know we new friends can soon become old friends too ;)

Grandma's Noodles

2010-08-15T11:37:00.000+08:00

Selina's 22nd at AMK Hub

2010-08-09T17:17:00.000+08:00

National Day 2010 post

2010-08-09T17:09:00.001+08:00

this goes without saying

2010-08-08T00:49:00.002+08:00

sam always has some good advice for me. n these wise words of his in this recent email shall remain my motto for a long long time. "pursue your dreams until you cant" .yes it's that powerful. :)

and yesterday he told me that it's true we need a bit of luck in our lives. but luck is not by chance. luck is Labour Under the Correct Knowledge. how true is that! thanks sam :D

and i'm v happy that mingna is back in sg! hello dear!

At the Mandarin Gallery

2010-08-06T13:57:00.000+08:00

this beckons to me

lsc peeps

2010-08-01T10:49:00.002+08:00

last day came and went just like that yesterday. since it was a saturday, the clinic was much busier than usual so last day passed by amazingly fast. luckily managed to snap a few pictures with the closer ones, but still missing a few others! going back next week again( just for a day) to collect pay and hopefully lunch with them!

we are the lunch break 4/5.. missing angie in the picture.

kristine my trainer! she was the one who taught me all the theories of eye conditions and lasik surgery procedures. my direct mentor when i was training at the operating theatre dept. guess where she's from? because she is so so fair, every time that patients see her, the mandarin-speaking ones always speak to her in mandarin, but little did they know she's actually from the philippines!

and finally i want to thank this girl; she's kitty. it's not a nickname but it's really the name that her dad gave her. but whenever pple first heard her name, they tend to misheard it as "siti"and it frustrates her greatly.

she's absolutely the best thing that happened to me in my short 1 mth at lsc. she joined the clinic a few days later than me but surprisingly while we were both really fresh trainees, we clicked really well and i must say that she really enlightened me on many work-related matters. ironically her advice was one of the key factors which made me seriously contemplate the idea of resigning.

mixed feelings because she's happy and sad that i'm pursuing smth else, but then she cant go with me because of other personal reasons. really appreciate the keyring that she got for me as a farewell gift. it's going to be my lucky charm!

the first of us have started to leave

2010-07-23T22:23:00.002+08:00

much drama has happened over the short 3 weeks at my first job. besides some occasional outbursts of confrontation between colleagues, the recent episode to add to the upcoming finale would be a theft case 2 days ago.

M was training with me a bit before i went over to the marketing dept. and we got along pretty well but then things suddenly came to an abrupt end when she was terminated because she was caught stealing hps from colleagues. and because she kept denying at first until the management finally gathered enough evidence( 3 theft cases in total), the police was finally called in and things ended on a nasty note. welllss, this was related to me by victim A during one of the idle times when it wasnt so busy at the front desk. i wanted to probe a little more, but then things got busy suddenly and i decided to just leave it as that. she was afterall a friend.. you cant imagine the flurry of activities which happened at the clinic that day where at every corner( the pantry, outside the toilet, at the lift lobby) and at every idling moments, everyone spoke of the same topic and update on the latest updates.

and then everything blows off as suddenly as it started. new topic today!

just a side note: i got my acceptance letter of my resignation today!( like finally!) last day on 31st! instead of the 6th aug. my last week is coming sooner than i thought!

Mina's back for a jiffy

2010-07-18T23:01:00.002+08:00

met up for only less than 3 hrs because i was involved in netballuxion. didnt accompany her for crazy grocery shopping trip :(

to sook: aiyah! should have invited u to my grad ceremony. didnt know if u wld be free.. :|

to welyon: thanks for the encouragement! prawning agn soon? heh

mixed feelings

2010-07-14T23:55:00.004+08:00

okay i shall reveal a little bit more abt my sudden and somewhat a little random decision to leave my first job so quickly. haha just fyi, i wasnt the record breaker! ( heard from a perm staff that there were cases where the employee just disappeared after 1day)

anyway, misconception1:

there was some miscommunication( or what) that i only need to work 5 n a half, and not necessarily on all sats. but the truth is i am required to work full shift on sat and only to claim off days on weekdays(when i exceeded 44 hrs per week)

misconception 2: this being my first job, i had forgotten to enquire more abt the year end bonus details. sigh. and only to find out that my job position is entitled to NO YEAR END BONUS. because i have commission every mth. but a very very kind perm staff(who's leaving pretty soon too) told me that the commission is not high enough to offset the year end bonus. :((

.. right to leave or no?

today being the 13th day into my job week. i've so far undergone training in 2 departments. i've learnt a lot of theories abt eye conditions, lasik pre-req, surgery procedures, surgery aftercare. got a lot of hands on experience with the eye test machines( they are really fun, and i always look forward to doing eye tests for the patients) and i've also done pop quizes and practical tests set by my trainer and one of the dept's in charge. they can be gruelling at first when i felt inadequate with the new stuff because i had no prior medical background. but all in all, it was really a good learning experience to dabble into another field.

and of course i need to mention the growing friendships that i have forged over the 2 weeks with the trainees and some of the perm staff. sighhh not all know( not yet) that i am leaving. i always crinch a little whenever they ask me abt the training stuff and if i know which clinic i will be posted toafter "probation" because i always have to lie and make up smth.

i guess i better tell them soon before they hear it from others. news spread like wild fire

to sook: hmm although nametag states marketing, it's actually sales and marketing and front desk..and it's service line..

never love a wild thing

2010-07-11T09:10:00.002+08:00

it's only been 10 days since i started work. but on the 6th day i've tendered my resignation. what a fun july this month is going to be!

job hunting will have to start again soon :|

sleep walks 9 to 5

2010-07-03T21:16:00.003+08:00

trainee uniform for 1st 3 weeks - scrub nurse.

felt a little like i had just enrolled myself into nursing school. my friend joked that it seems that i've taken an nus sci gem on optometry. while i was still in school, never had i thought that i would be learning all the medical and technical aspects of lasik surgery, how to prepare medication pack, WRITE MC, standard procedures of gowning the patients for surgery.

new found respect for the nurses. they really do stop the doctors from killing you.

i kinda wished that my working hours is a v boring 9 to 5. but my start work time fluctuates from 9 to 1030, and this subsequently affects my end work time too. i'm working full day on sat too, so if u guys happen to be in town, call me for lunch!

anyway, for those who are confused, i'm not really a nurse. i'm doing marketing for eye clinic but they require all new staff to undergo training in the operating theatre and optometry department for 3 weeks.

I HAVE A LOT OF MEMORISING TO DO THIS WEEKEND! :|

how's my new nametag looking?

2010-07-01T21:41:00.002+08:00

thank you to those who remembered and wished me good luck for my first day and asked how it all went :)

building up to graduation day

2010-06-29T18:35:00.006+08:00

sudden burst of excitement when i headed back to school to collect my graduation dress and other misc alumni stuff.

my grad dress! imagine me in this and not the lion

past year's grad bears/lion

at first i had opted for renting of the gown but in the end i had to purchase it because they ran out of the rental ones. so apparently, they ran out of the rented ones( in size XS and S), but gowns for purchase are still in stock. should not have panicked the other time when i almost missed the deadline to place order for rental online since they now claimed that order online still equal to no reservations. WHAT A SYSTEM.

there were several other booths selling graduation plaques, graduation bears and also graduation photos. can u believe that my jc eye candy(who's now in ntu btw) was also one of the promoters for grad photography AND HE PROMOTED HIS STUFF TO ME. HAHAHA

nabing kept going ahem ahem..HMMMM but anyway he didnt recognise me and neither did i want to ask if he was from ajc or whatever. MOVED ON ALRDY

anyway am currently having a kick out of reading the alumni magazine. it's a little like those yearbook which we always have in the past, just that this one includes mostly stories by past or current graduants. esp like reading the ans to qns like, " what's your disaster module" and comments on the shuttle bus and central forum. some are really funny!

Kimchi drama( Beating Heart)

2010-06-29T13:01:00.004+08:00

Synopsis( Beating Heart):

Do you remember the most exciting moment in your life that made your heart race?

Here is a story of a family. You will witness the six most exciting and crucial moments in their lives, which you can experience as well.

Created by six writers and six producers, this drama portrays the six different stories of a family. It shows how different points of view influence the characters, their behavior and the story itself. This drama has the characteristics of a reality show. It tells us that the life itself can be interpreted in various ways depending on from where you’re looking at it.

-hancinema

i watched only ep 1 and 2 because fave shinhwa member, dongwanie stars in them. ep 1 was easily available on a fansite, but ep 2 was such a bitch to find! but yet the short story spans over 2 eps, so it's a must to continue! sought help over a million other fansites( yays! love the online community!) and then when i finally was able to watch, it was in KOREAN with NO SUBS. major UGH! in order to figure out how to combine the subs with the video downloaded, google became my next best friend where i searched extensively on .smil, srt files. they can drive me crazy really. but the best part was in the end, i still gave up. decided to just watch the video in korean and then read the subs( available on another file) separately.

what a way to learn korean huh! hopes that MINA can fly over right now!

how to come to terms with ageing

2010-06-26T00:23:00.002+08:00

they dont think that i look like a student anymore.

their first question now would be " so where are you working at?"

salty sweet

2010-06-25T00:13:00.002+08:00

today i very much appreciated the great invention of a fork-lift. uGH! so tiring to load and unload 42 cartons of drinks manually. the other workers at the factories must have thought that we were weird to drive a toyota corolla for collection. -.- as a result we had to make multiple trips back to school from the clementi factory.

saw some graduates who went back to pick up their graduation gowns too. my turn next week!

luckily we had a good dinner down at old airport road since our last collection point was at kallang netball centre. NICE PRAWN MEE, NICE CHICKEN WINGS, NICE STINGRAY, NICE FISH SOUP.

suddenly feel very awake even though while i was on the way home from tuition just now, i thought i would crash right after showering. my p5 boy just told me he sleeps at 830pm on school nights! my earliest bedtime was 10! and of course now is 3am. :D

tmw's another collection day! but this time by myself.. hope the load will be manageable!

Galileo Japanese Drama

2010-06-17T00:43:00.003+08:00

i usually dont watch japanese drama but i especially love this one and even loaded the movie special because i love how the 2 pair up to solve mysterious cases and seemingly supernatural ones. all can be explained by science! but of course before science saves the day, a lot of cases are labelled as supernatural phenomenons. and you know the deal about them: it's spooky. fyi, i was really spooked by one episode and from then on decided to watch the rest of the drama only in the day.

but anyhow, give it a try! there's the drama itself( only 11 eps) and the movie( called suspect X)

and how can i forget that i told my sister guides, miss chua and miss lee too! haha i guess it's just like how i forget dubai's in the middle east and not india! okay i admit i really suck at this.

and ky! got gossip to share la! come online soonnn!

whole new world awaits

2010-06-15T09:19:00.002+08:00

yays! yesterday was my lucky day because i am officially declaring my job-hunting process to be over!

it just happened suddenly and i was thrilled. called yen and krist while i was on the way back and msned james n yy when i reached home. a whole new world awaits! (probably starting in july!)

kids crack me up

2010-06-09T22:19:00.002+08:00

recently picked up 2 new primary school kids for tuition, and they really do say the funniest things. sigh! i miss don!

my primary 5 boy who lives at hougang apparently has never heard of punggol before, and commented, "teacher, the place you stay at sounds like off Singapore"

my primary 6 girl is very sweet and very very softspoken. but i still heard her gasp when i stepped into her room for the first time. apparently, she thought i was only sec4. HAHAHA :D

have u suffered a memory loss?

2010-06-07T22:39:00.003+08:00

sigh this is how i feel whenever i meet up with this friend of mine. we dont meet up very often( we used to while i was in year 1 and 2), but lately it's half a year or even slightly longer gap. however, we still chat a little occasionally. but what leaves me feeling disappointed and also puzzled was the fact that he doesnt seem to remember the stories that he had shared or the stuff that we had did AT ALL. it's really weird. every meeting with him, we'll start off with a blank slate( at least to him) and then we come off with a blank slate in the end. he repeats stories that he told me and asks me all the questions that i am sure i've mentioned to him not once but many times before. but all these times, i kept quiet.. out of courtesy mainly.

exam results

2010-05-31T11:28:00.002+08:00

finally after the downward trend that my cap was going after 3 years, the final sem shows a reverse! =D

i was pleasantly surprised at some of the modules because i had barely finish the papers but got the decent grades for them. but of course i was also disappointed this one module which previously i had no qualms or whatsoever about, got me a B- instead. UGH! couldnt figure out where i had gone wrong.

i had passed all my modules; i've really graduated!

FlashForward: Future Shock

2010-05-30T00:05:00.002+08:00

D-Day is finally here. I just finished the season finale for my fave american show( after desperate housewives and harper's) it's such a massive cliffhanger really. sigh because there's news/rumours that ABC is cancelling flashforward because of poor ratings. SIGH! why?! even heroes get 4 seasons! which unfortunately i gave up somewhere between the 3rd and the 4th season because they kept introducing new but to me irrelevant characters which complicates the story too much.

i really hope there will be a sequel to this. because the clues they left hanging to the latest flashforward future are really not enough to piece the whole puzzle together. so help me join the save flashforward group on fb!

trapped lives of expectations

2010-05-29T13:20:00.002+08:00

as we grow up, we deny ourselves a lot. for fear of failure, fear of being irresponsible to ourselves and others, fear of being labelled and seen by others as what we hope not to appear as. that was really me 6-7 years back. and this whole process of denial also means we start losing who we are, as we change our minds and actions to do the things that we feel should be associated with our future selves. we start to restrict what we like into what we think we should like.

the greatest dream for people like myself( or rather my old self) who lived in trapped lives of expectations is to want to live life desperately the way we think we would otherwise live. i try not to think about the "what ifs" because it's really quite pointless sometimes. why is it that right now, we are often seen as stable and don't handle change very well.

to live it free of the words and comments of others that may turn around to define who we are.

this week happenings

2010-05-20T23:47:00.008+08:00

pushing daisies moments: fruit tarty desserts at raffles city shopping centre. kanyu, when you're back, this is yet another place that we have to try!

finally went down to marina bay sands to have a look. but it's not worth it at all! it's such a long walk from cityhall. i would prefer renting bicycles to better enjoy the view.

many of the shops are still not opened, but this one is and yen got a nice wallet from there

fwoc 07 pals finally met up! missing xt though. =( gosh, how time flies! we knew each other from kr hall orientation when we were all freshies, and i rmb going to classes with jon and how the 4 of us used to go out for supper from time to time while we were all in hall together and now i've graduated while the rest continue their last year in uni.

coincidentally 3 of us were in pink tt day!

minds cafe's tiki topple game! it's supposedly a mind strategy game but in the end, we got lazy and devised our own luck strategy way of playing instead! it's v fun!

and the biggest happening of this week: brother's graduation from temasek poly! this might be a little random, but on that day, i felt that my brother has grown into a fine young man.

family picture =)

weds: interview with travel company

thurs: interview with conference company

fri: kite flying and mj session

updates again soon.. i'm getting lazy

good times great yesterdays

2010-05-11T15:37:00.004+08:00

in the blink of an eye, i'm now enjoying my holidays, sleeping in till noon and then idling till evening time to head out. things are slowing down for a bit. no rush, no fuss.

to add on to the growing wishlist, here's another item: camera. my current one is getting old and rusty and takes low quality pics now. or is it that everyone else's cameras have all grown more professional that mine pales in comparison. sigh the pictures here are testimony to that.

one year ago, all of us were either in the states already or on our way there. time flies. one year has passed since we first stepped onto american soil and have our lives forever changed. =) one year on, we still talked about the island's happenings and travel adventures like they all just happened yesterday. sweet!

graduating..

2010-05-06T20:22:00.002+08:00

yeah, in a minute!

i'm finally done with my last last LAST paper!

initially i thought this afternoon will be a peaceful one for me to catch some 40 winks, but i guess i was meant to spend the day OUTSIDE but still comfortably in other people's houses. =D sigh i was locked out!!

my SOS calls to miss lee and yy werent picked up in time, but luckily seeming did! REALLY THANKFUL! because she had something on later in the evening, she still kindly let me seek refuge at her place for a little bit. =D

and then later i hop over to yy's house after seeming had to leave for her stuff. auntie lee was kind to offer me dinner too!

phew! unimaginably grateful for friends like these. THANK YOU FRIENDS!

voices above and beyond

2010-04-28T20:57:00.002+08:00

it's a little strange to have everyone and anyone want and need my voice WHEN I AM NURSING A BAD THROAT.

tuesday

i was the "voice" for this mute couple who wanted to order their dinner from the jap/korean stall(new fave stall) at punggol plaza. and so i acted as the "voice" between their hand gesturing and the food vendor. not that i wasn't happy to help, in fact i was thankful that my going to be non-existent state of a voice managed to croak quite audibly for the vendor to hear. i was worried for a while that should my voice fail, the couple might misunderstood that i didn't want to help them.

wednesday(today)

seemingly yet another day whereby i shouldn't need my voice since i have 2 papers today. but then during my morning paper, my prof had to come talk to me. -.- i would be more than happy to entertain her on any other day, BUT WHY TODAY!

and then on my way to my evening paper, an uncle who sat next to me in the train started to ask me questions. his voice reminded me of my money n banking prof of 2 years ago. HAHA the conversation went like this:

uncle: you are very updated with the world

me: ( browsing through data on china's economy) oh it's for my studies

uncle: oh are you from nus? econs? 3rd year? final year?

and then THE QUESTION OF THE DAY CAME;

uncle: so in your opinion, what do you think needs to be done to sustain the world economy today?

me: ( momentarily panic mode: PERSONAL PRIDE AND NUS'S PRESTIGE AT STAKE HERE) oh i think there needs to be a change to the credit lending system to sustain the world economy of today

to tell u the truth, i was relieved when he nodded his head and wished me good luck for my paper before getting off the next station. first time talking about economics outside of class! =/

i need my voice to come back soon!

too late for melodies, too early for tragedies

2010-04-24T23:29:00.002+08:00

i think i caught something bad. ever since wed, i've been falling in and out of fever, and the worst part is( to a girl or to me at least), my skin allergies are back! i've been very much depressed over this because other than applying the prescribed cream, i'm totally clueless as to what could have been the cause of this ugly rash. oh my, how did it get so bad.

Diary of a reformed elitist- taken from friend's facebook notes

2010-04-23T17:30:00.000+08:00

I AM as Rafflesian/Raffles Girls' School (RGS)/'elite' as they come. My father was a Raffles Institution boy; I went through Raffles Girls' Primary School (RGPS), RGS, then Raffles Junior College, then on to the National University of Singapore, boarding at Raffles Hall. My sisters went through much the same route. My little girls are in RGPS.

I recognise the syndrome Ms Sandra Leong talks about ('Scoring high in grades but not in values', last Saturday). I live it, breathe it. Most of my friends are like me, graduates. Most of us live in landed property, condominiums or minimally, executive condos or five-room flats. None of us talks about making ends meet, or how we must turn down medical treatment for our aged parents because we cannot find the money.

But I will add to her essay: that those traits, that aura is not unique to RGS girls. It resonates within a social group, and its aspirants, the well educated or well endowed. I hang out with so many, I have stories by the barrel.

- My doctor friend, non-RGS and one would even say anti-RGS, was shocked when she found out how many As I got in my A levels, since I opted to do an arts degree. In her words, 'I thought all arts people were dumb, that is why they go to arts'. Her own family boasts only doctors and lawyers - she said they would never contemplate any other profession - and by implication, all other professions are below those two.

- A church-mate who lived in a landed property in District 10 - definitely not an RGS girl, and I venture to guess, not even a graduate - once, in all sincerity and innocence, prayed for all those who had to take public transport and live in HDB flats, for God to give them strength to bear these trials.

- Another friend, also non-RGS and a non-graduate, shudders when she recounts the few months she lived in an HDB flat. And that was a five-room flat. Imagine the culture shock if she had lived in a three-room flat.

I continue to meet people who never visit hawker centres, who wonder why the poor people do not work harder to help themselves, who fret if their children do not get into the Gifted Education Programme (reserved for the top 1 per cent of nine-year-olds).

The pattern repeats itself in the next generation. When my 11-year-old had to go on a 'race' around Singapore, using only public transport, the teacher asked for a show of hands on how many had never taken public transport (bus and MRT) before. In a class of 30, five raised their hands. I think if the teacher had asked for those who had taken public transport fewer than 10 times in their young lives, the number would have more than doubled or tripled.

Many of us live in ivory towers. I know I did. I used to think Singapore was pretty much 'it' all - a fantastic meritocracy that allowed an 'HDB child' from a non-graduate family to make it. I boasted about our efficiency - 'you can emerge from your plane and be out in 10 minutes' - and so on.

It was not that I thought little of the rest of the world or other people; it was that I was so ensconced in my cocoon, I just thought little of anything outside my own zone. 'Snow? Yes, nice.' 'Starvation in Ethiopia? Donate $50.' The wonders of the world we lived in, the sufferings and joys of those who shared this earth were just academic knowledge to me, voraciously devoured for my essays or to hold intelligent conversations at dinner parties.

Then I lived in China for seven years. I looked on in amazement as the skinny tree trunk in front of my yard blossomed and bore pomegranates when spring thawed the ground. And marvelled at the lands that spread east, west, north and south of me as we drove and drove and drove, and never ended. I became friends and fans of colleagues and other Chinese nationals, whom so many Singapore friends had warned me to be wary of.

I realised it was not the world and other people who were limited in their intellect, in their determination, in their resourcefulness; it was me and my world views which were limited. I also know full well that if I had stayed in Singapore, in my cushy job, comfortable in my Bukit Timah home, I would have remained the same - self-sufficient. I had always believed that if I put my mind to it, I could achieve anything. For example, I used to look at sick people and root: 'Fight with all your willpower, and you will recover.' And when they did not, I'd think they had failed themselves. I, like Ms Leong, believed 'mental dexterity equated strength of character and virtue'.

But those years in China taught me terrible lessons on loneliness. I learnt that money (an expatriate pay package) and brains (suitcases of books) did not make me happier than my maid who cycled home to her family every night in minus 20 deg C on icy roads to a dinner of rice and vegetables. The past few years, I have known devastating loss and grief so deep I woke up in the morning and wondered how the sun could still shine and people could go on with their lives.

And so perhaps I have learnt the humility I lacked. Humility about how small I am in the whole schema of things. About how helpless I truly stand, with my intellect in my hands, with my million-dollar roof over my head. To remember, in the darkest valleys of my journey, it was not Ayn Rand or other Booker list authors who lifted me, but the phone calls, the kindness of strangers, that made each day a little less bleak.

And perhaps finally, to really see other people, and understand - not deflect, nor reflect their anger and viewpoints, but see their shyness, pain, struggles, joys. Just because I was 'fortunate enough' to have trawled the bottom levels. And perhaps that is the antidote to the oft unwitting elitism so many of us carry with us.

Sim Soek Tien (Ms)

- Straits Times Forum Letter

isn't it good to have globe-trotting friends?

2010-04-20T21:27:00.002+08:00

the past week I've received postcards from dear miss chua and ming na!

miss chua sent me a postcard from krakow, poland! she said that she thought of me because she just visited the death camp at Auschwitz. haha and i "visited" it too..recently..from the movies. ;)

the postcard from ming na is of an old train station at taipei. i'm guessing because it's not spelled out clearly on the postcard. thank you ming na for your encouragement for me to really work v hard for my final exams!

Now that I'm older

2010-04-17T13:16:00.007+08:00

okay, i'm ready to leave school

last day came and went, almost like it's just another school day. I'll blog more come commencement day

When the last one comes

2010-04-08T13:24:00.002+08:00

This is how it happens.

last week i handed up my last individual research essay

this week i attended my last tutorial in my whole undergrad life. technically it's not the last but the next 2 tutorial sessions I am attending are presentation slots. so essentially, this is the last time i'd ever sit in a classroom setting, in chairs being tutored and asked for opinions. i'm glad it was a sociology tutorial which ended things on such a nice note. I'll definitely miss sociology tutorials and i'm grateful for all the wonderful tutors that i had for the past 3 years who had provoked my thinking on all kinds of social problems and taken for granted aspects of daily life.

next week, or actually it's tomorrow( hmm things are not finalised), i will give my last presentation and listen to what others have to say about it.

definitely happening on the following week, i'm going to hand up my last ever group report, and then be on exams mode on the way till the 6th may.

is this happening too fast? a little, but already i've got the feeling that my academic career is coming to an end when the busy period for deadlines of this and that was over last week. I know i had just 3 weeks left( now down to 2) to look at piles and piles of papers and books, and then forever move on to something else beyond school. honestly, it's going to feel weird in the beginning. you know, having a new title under your name, where you can no longer conveniently get away from responsibilities and expectations under the title of "a student". well, hopefully, it's going to be exciting, finding something to do next, something that could be more purposeful than school? we'll see about that ;)

ffffound 1

2010-04-07T19:27:00.002+08:00

random musing amidst doing up my project on china economy. ugh second crunch season has begun.

i can finally blog about this

2010-04-04T01:35:00.002+08:00

JAMES IS BACK!

though only till next sat. =/

i almost had a heart attack when weiqi and him springed the surprise on me on tuesday. =D

一寸光阴一寸金

2010-03-31T19:42:00.004+08:00

the first crunch of this semester is thankfully over. luckily i have a little bit of a breathing space before the next crunch comes along( i'm not meaning the exams here), a few more projects submissions and i'm off to prepare for the final exams i'm (probably) going to sit for my entire life. exciting stuff!

i had a little bit of a nervous breakdown past sunday. or rather it's monday 2am when i was overwhelmed with helplessness over my medical sociology essay. had never such a serious and abrupt case of writer's block ever. after which i sobbed uncontrollably over the phone with yen as my headache mounted higher and higher.. ugh! but yes, it was definitely a good idea to talk to best friend and much more a sociology student to shed light on a sociology essay mess. (yes, i know what to do if i top the class... $500!) don't worry guys, it's a 2am essay woes syndrome which just happened to hit me that fateful night. a point to note( this is for james): never tell a person in distress to "just make the best out of it" BAD MOVE

but in any case, i've submitted my essay and working on some last final touches on another essay due in a few hours' time. economics this time round. hmmm it should be easier ;)

motto till the end of this semester; approximately 26 days to my first paper of my final semester!

it's catching up

2010-03-27T12:06:00.002+08:00

yest was my first sponsor meeting of the year, which turned out not that bad in the end. since that place is somewhat between chinatown and clarke quay.. gothere.sg even mentioned alighting at outram.. well you get the idea.. i happened to pass by thong chai medical hall( i think the historic site), ministry of manpower( in which i saw a crowd of abt 40 migrant workers gathering outside yelling abt smth) and lastly the subordinate courts.( didn't see any tv crew outside though)

i was a little apprehensive when i first stepped into the meeting place. it was at the gym itself where practically half of it was a boxing ring. some guys were practicing kick boxing alrdy. and then the person-in-charge whom i'm meeting has his whole left arm filled with tattoos. it was a good experience anyhow and it was surprisingly short! initially i thought that i had to rush back to school to hand up my project and attend a tutorial. but everything worked out nicely and i even met miss lee!

second sponsor meeting on mon! but this time round with kw too!

spam messages

2010-03-25T15:20:00.003+08:00

does anyone of you get this too? It's been 2 days in a row already.

"Hi! This is your daily 859 alert! 8:59am is coming up, snap your pic and send it to photos@project859.com"

this is not the funny part. the message has to end off with-

did you know that all porcupines float in water?

HAHA. where did that come from?!!

to kanyu: haha it's almost impossible that i wake up anymore earlier than I already do! i have to wake up at 730 for my 10am lesson. =(( very bad!

to miss chua: YAYS! chua can cook now! HAHA. we don't have to order pizzas already!

it's crunch time

2010-03-24T18:43:00.002+08:00

today it hit me while i was gobbling down my cake and taking huge gulps of my milo this question of, " do i eat to live" or "do i live to eat" it should be the latter right, but how come i can't even afford to give myself 15 minutes to enjoy breakfast? i do not want to read the papers while i am eating. maybe i like to find out about how a new invention is going to become mass technology very soon so i no longer have to sweep/mop my own floor, or i like to read about how michael jackson's doctor is suspected of delaying cpr to MJ because he wants to "hide evidences?" you know but the truth is i do not like to find out over breakfast that millions have been killed in a natural disaster, how the world is REALLY COMING TO AN END, or read about politicians' childish games of "show-offs"

must the race already start once i open my eyes?

sometimes i blame myself for not having the courage to pursue something else. i dare not be deviant in this society of ours. i've been too well socialised if that's how you call it. but sometimes i act out. I skipped lectures and tutorials so that I can regain some sanity.. for what? so that i can have enough energy again to get back into the rat race. FREAK. it's sad

these 2 weeks is definitely crunch time for me when I have 1 project due this friday( okay luckily done), 800 word online assignment due this sun, 2 2000 word essays due next weds and then 1 presentation next friday. upcoming next wld be a 15 page project, group blog post submission, 1000 word individual assignment and lastly 1 more presentation to end off my last semester.

perfect

my name is charmaine, what's yours?

2010-03-21T19:33:00.002+08:00

there! this was my nametag which i nv fail to pin on my uniform during the days when i was in Activities at Mission point. well except for my very first day of work that is. luckily my dorm was just next to the gift shop and alex was okay with me running back to get it. what a way to start off my first few minutes of work!

yest during the march babies birthday dinner, people keep calling my so-called new name. HAHA. nvm, you guys pls continue to call me xuemin, xmin or xm! charmaine is used for work purposes because people can never get my chinese name right the first time round! soo.. charmaine is really just a name for convenience. HAHA

you got your fix

2010-03-17T18:19:00.002+08:00

what do i like to do these days? new hobby: stalk my prof on facebook. i think the nus econs society must have heard my stalkish desires and decided to interview him for the nus economist.

http://www.nus-ens.com/articles_March_issue.htm

i think he might remember me as the one who always visits his pet on pet society

Pissed off

2010-03-16T18:33:00.002+08:00

i do not have any problems from my hair to toes. get that!

to kian vi: pls email me at whimsical_swing@hotmail.com regarding anything abt work n travel USA. will be happy to share!

HOROSCOPES

2010-03-12T19:35:00.003+08:00

sometimes you can't help but think.. is it really all written in the stars?

well in that case, i'm labelled as eccentric, whimsical and somewhat temperamental, such that nobody can really guess what i am thinking of. i care a lot about how others view me and pride myself for (trying) being different.

In another space

2010-03-07T16:43:00.002+08:00

thank you MISS CHUA for the lovely postcard all the way from Russia! i hope you had your mittens, gloves and RUSSIAN HAT on for first thought of RUSSIA is that IT'S VERY VERY COLD. ( look at the first picture) my father is eyeing the russian stamps on the postcard! He's jealous!

and yesterday was yitling's wedding! it's like the day is FINALLY HERE! we have been talking abt it from last year ever since we first got news that we are invited. (pictures are up on facebook!) i took over ks's role as the official photographer. sook brought her camera too but i think only she can use her camera without breaking into fits of laughter!( cannon has powerful face detector function!) it's really v funny! just one year past our 21st and here we are attending wedding dinners together! HOHOHO.

it might be the case for some too, but personally i'm very afraid of chinese dinners having steamed fish. because for 99.9& of the time, i have my dad with me to fish out the bones and leave only the meat on my plate. the prev time at prom, we had james and weiling to help us with it. luckily yesterday, the meritus staff and yy( who took over james) did it. I MISS JAMES. though he's everywhere.( everytime when something funny happens that is)

i was complaining to sook that as of now, i have NOTHING to look forward to. except essays deadlines and finals. it's depressing, really. =/ and SOOK WAS THE BEST! " okay la, i get married next!" HAHAHA =)))

Nick Carter compliments BIG BANG

2010-03-06T13:20:00.001+08:00

news credit to allkpop

Nick Carter answered:

“Ah, out of Korean artists, I know a group called Big Bang. Whether it’s their music or fashion style, all of it seems very cool and charismatic. Especially, leader G-Dragon’s fashion sense and style, I think it’s sensational.”
YAY! FAVE BOY BANDS =D

keeps me searching

2010-03-05T00:23:00.002+08:00

a reminder that i need to be sleeping early/earlier; yesterday i accidentally woke my dad up from his sleep because i went into the master's bedroom to get smth and he asked," why are you up so early today?" and then i replied," I haven't slept yet." damn. it was 3 in the morning.

so it's been like this for quite some time already..meaning my cells haven't been regenerating. HORRORS! =(

anyways, regarding the interviews, i didn't go for the 2nd round. well it's kinda a long story but anyway, i don't think that was what I was looking for! better luck next time! though i want to thank joyce for sending me an sms to wish me luck and raymond for very kindly sending me his resume and notes on resume writing! thanks for cheering me on!

Which band can still stay around for 17 years?

2010-03-02T17:45:00.005+08:00

i was very surprised too when AJ thanked all of us, the "sticky fans" who continued to stuck around for 17 years to support the backstreet boys! GOSH! how time flies! it hadn't occurred to me that 17 years had just flew by like that! I don't think I've been a fan for that long.. haha but long enough; I first listened to their music when I was 12, so that makes me a decade long.. but counting fan!

been listening to all their past hits ever since the concert on sunday. AND WATCHING ALL THE VID CLIPS which caleb had recorded during the concert! looking at the pictures and videos which were taken to remind myself that I WAS REALLY THERE! [people, you can msn me if you will like to watch too!] I WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN NEXT YEAR!

i wonder how the boys do it but in their early-mid 30s( nick carter is already 30 years old this year), to still hold the stage and dance as if they first debut. i find it really scary if they continue to hold a concert 10 years down the road.. how would it be like for us, sticky fans to watch them from below? GEEZ. it's scary, come to think of it!

genius is genius

2010-02-27T23:43:00.002+08:00

i'm listening to prof lee's development economics webcast and he made a comment abt students who continue with masters or phd programme after they graduate: phd stands for permanent head damage, so actually some of you should leave after 3 years in NUS. no need to study so much.

really? he must have understood some of our agony.

and i can't believe he actually used the word," suckers" to refer to yet to be nus/ntu/smu undergrads who ask seniors from the respective schools on what's good abt their schools.

haha i like!

countdown to bsb concert: 1 DAY!

FIRST JOB INTERVIEW

2010-02-26T23:43:00.002+08:00

much drama happened today.

technically i was supposed to go for an interview with SMG but then due to a mistake on my part, it turns out to be synergy instead. i can't believe my hearing sometimes. i don't want to join any financial company so essentially, i left in 5 minutes flat. didn't manage to buy KOI bubble tea too. =/ so it's really a wasted trip down to toa payoh

BUT the good news was that I received a phonecall from eden cube marketing just when i was on the way to toa payoh. JUST NICE. hence since i'm already out in my office wear and heels, i might as well head down for the interview at clarke quay! i quickly asked kristine for help to find out more abt the company and after a quick lunch at the central, i went down for my first ever proper job interview!

i find it a little bit weird to be paired up with a 30 smth year old individual who already had 9 years of experience with the army and now with another electronics company for the interview. super weird that i started off introducing myself as "Hi, i am 22 years old..studying in NUS" O.o

anyway, i've just received news that i'm shortlisted for the 2nd round of interview the coming MON! this is all happening too fast! and then i have my midterm on that same monday too! sigh. i couldn't rejoice very much in this piece of happy news because i had a major dizzy spell attack once i reached home in the afternoon. VERY CRAPPY. I even vomited twice. SUPER CRAPPY.

countdown to the bsb concert: 2 DAYs! yays!

I AM V LAZY NOW

2010-02-23T19:05:00.003+08:00

before i go on to explain the title, i want to wish my BEST TRAVELLING MATE, Miss Rainbow a happy exchange over in Taiwan! how time flies! just last year in May, 2 of us went on the Great USA adventure together! I wish very much to join you too, but there's always next time! VEGAS, BABY!

Headed back to school with Mingna's NUS friends. =]

talking about school, i NEED TO STOP BEING LAZY and BE A GOOD STUDENT FOR THE LAST 2 MTHS.

you know how i dreaded going back to school yesterday because of the morning class, and then guess what, I only stayed awake 5 seconds after my alarm sounded at 730am. I guess it was more than enough time for me to decide that TODAY's NOT GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY FOR SCHOOL, so I promptly went back to sleep. attempted to wake up again 2 hours later to head to lecture( after missing a tutorial), but then I slept through and by the time i am fully awake, half of my lecture has already started.. so NO SCHOOL and thus NO MONDAY BLUES!

suppose to have netball bibs washing duty today too, but then i am lazy to stay till 9pm so then i got someone else to cover for me and asked my dad to pick me up in school when i ended class. DIE, I AM REALLY V LAZY!

countdown to bsb concert: 5 days!

very happy that Vy is going too! i really hope we can bump into each other at suntec this sunday!